Is the grass always greener?

Things are pretty much back to normal-- damnit! I've been MISERABLE lately, since that wonderful day with Laura. It was seeing how things COULD be that made me hopeful, yet hopeless, now, lately. Laura still hasn't told her boyfriend that it's over between them. He should be able to catch on, I think, but he's an idiot. I guess it's easier for her, anyway, not telling him, becaue she doesn't have anywhere to go. Though she makes enough money at Johnsonville, I would think, to save a little. I can always loan her some money, too. I guess it's not the easiest thing to find a cheap apartment around here, unless you want to live in an outbuilding or something.

I shouldn't complain-- I'm a BIG FAT HEEL. I feel terrible, as usual. Margaret doesn't suspect me at all. She's so busy at QG-- she just got a promotion, too. I'm, as usual, hating MY life. It's getting a little old taking cell phones away from junior high brats. Noah recently told us he wanted a cell phone, and yes, we read him the riot act. You've got to put your foot down IMMEDIATELY and FIRMLY on these matters, before it gets out of hand. Sometimes more than your foot (wooden yardsticks were made for something besides measuring).

Well, everything kinda BLOWS lately, but here's a picture of the green grass that was under the snow. I went for a nice hike the other day by the creek behind Schnappsville Park. That's the HHR (my new/ kinda new car) parked there, and in the background, yes, flying the old flag, is Johnsonville Sausage, where my one true love resides (4o hours a week, variable shifts, plus lately, 2o hours a week OT!) Hopefully, next time, I'll have something to report in the PROGRESS department.

Thank GOD for this weather!!!

I've had an amazing couple of days due to the weather. COLD, wind-chills forty below! But that's not what was amazing. School was called off at Plymouth (as well as most of the schools around the state). This almost never happens, especially since global warming (that's a joke, though I know it's not funny). Noah and Hope both still went to daycare, or whatever they call it now. Not pre-school, because it IS school-- little genius school, prodigy school. I know I should take more of an interest. Well, I am interested, and didn't want them to freeze to death. I drove them over in the HHR, which is turning to be good investment. Margaret made fun of it, but I ending up giving her a jump yesterday morning when her beloved Mustang wouldn't start (one of those new ones, you know). So, anyway, yeah, Margaret had to work at QG, regular schedule, and I was left at home alone for two glorious days!

The lucky thing was that Laura was working third shift at Johnsonville-- she doesn't always have a choice, but I guess got put on Sunday late third shift due to the Superbowl, which, of course, she had no interest in watching. I can see the plant entrance from our living room, and when the lobster shift cleared out at seven a.m. or so I called her cell phone. Margaret was already gone. Laura came over (parking at the bar lot, to be safe) and took a bath to get the sausage smell off her (not that I would have minded) while I took the kids to Mozart school. Then we had THE WHOLE DAY TOGETHER. We've been dreaming of this. We didn't sleep in Margaret and my bed, of course, I'm not a total creep. But we made love nearly every other place in the house, including in the HHR, like a couple of high schoolers, while it was in the (heated, of course) garage.

OK... I DO feel pretty guilty about it. I feel terrible. But the thing is, we are in love. I am more in love with Laura than I've been ever before in my life. I mean, I don't think I've ever been trully, completely in love before in my life. I've never felt like this. I do love Margaret, I care about her. But it was nothing like this. I don't know what to do. Laura feels bad about it, too. She lives with a guy, too. Her boyfriend, though she says it's over with him. I mean, she told me that the first time we met (more on that later). But she can't move out until she finds a new place, and figures things out with him (I guess he's kind of unstable or something). So we've got ourselves in a real mess. But it's the happiest I've ever been in my life.