Back To School Fool!

This has been the most FU'ed summer of all time. If I sound depressed it's because... I am depressed. Things have NOT gone well. I guess I should have been writing about the HORRIBLE events of this DREADFUL summer, and maybe that would have helped me. But it's too late now.

I am going to remember this summer like it's a natural disaster. I'll call it Ed Avery's Crappy Life and Times '07. Seven is supposed to be a lucky number, right? Not for me!

I don't know if I continue this thing, or what the point is anyway. I guess I need to do something new with my students this year, however. We had some meeting about how we have to spend a certain amount of class time using electronic media. I pointed out that that means a certain amount of class time LESS with books and papers. That comment was greeted with nothing but squinty eyed disapproval. Oh, well, OK then! I'll get my students to do BLOGS! I'll let them write nasty comments about Mr. Carver, the principal. NO PAL OF MINE! And I'll use this one as an example, so the kids won't think I just logged onto a computer for the first time yesterday.

Yes, it's back to school time, and... OK. Maybe I'll relate the heinous events of the summer... but later!

Ed (better off dead) Avery

The Nastiest Month

Here's the sign for the Johnsonville Rod and Gun. Everyone has a gun out here. They're hunters. Not me, though. I don't hunt, and we have no guns in our house. If it ever gets to the point where I feel like I need a gun for protection, it's time to move to somewhere where I don't feel like I need a gun for protection. There are still those places on this sweet Earth. And right now, I feel, Johnsonville is still one of them.

Now a ROD, that's another matter! I'm talking about my beloved Chevy HHR, not my "johnson." I'm thinking of souping it up and entering a race over at Road America this summer. I guess that's what you-know-who's boyfriend does for a living. Or should I say soon to be ex-boyfriend. As soon as she gets her tax return she's moving out to her new place, and then things will be much much better!

As it is now, though, there has been a lot of talk about April being the cruelest month. Well, I want to propose that April is the Cruelest woman! I'm talking about the object of most of my waking concentration, when I'm not providing quality time for the kids, arguing with my wife, or half-heartedly grading pathetic homework. I know I said her name was Laura, before, but I'm changing that tune. Her real name is April. Actually, I'm going to keep changing her name, the same way I change the password to this blog. You can't mess around in suburban America these days. Everyone is under survealance. Fuck!

'Til Death Do Us Part (ok, bad joke!)

I haven't written anything in awhile because things haven't been going so well. I think my wife suspects something (though I can't be sure) and I had to cool it. The only time I saw Laura in the last month was this one date we had, driving around on a gloomy Saturday. We ended up making out in this old cemetary, up north a ways, which was great. She's kind of got this "goth" streak-- OK, I know she's too young for me!

I took this picture of the HHR in the graveyard-- Laura said it kind of resembles a hearse! I guess she's right! What is Chevy doing, making their new car look like a hearse?!?! I like it though. I really can't wait to see her again. Things have been very very very very very difficult!

If you look really closely you can see her in the passenger side, trying to hide!

Is the grass always greener?

Things are pretty much back to normal-- damnit! I've been MISERABLE lately, since that wonderful day with Laura. It was seeing how things COULD be that made me hopeful, yet hopeless, now, lately. Laura still hasn't told her boyfriend that it's over between them. He should be able to catch on, I think, but he's an idiot. I guess it's easier for her, anyway, not telling him, becaue she doesn't have anywhere to go. Though she makes enough money at Johnsonville, I would think, to save a little. I can always loan her some money, too. I guess it's not the easiest thing to find a cheap apartment around here, unless you want to live in an outbuilding or something.

I shouldn't complain-- I'm a BIG FAT HEEL. I feel terrible, as usual. Margaret doesn't suspect me at all. She's so busy at QG-- she just got a promotion, too. I'm, as usual, hating MY life. It's getting a little old taking cell phones away from junior high brats. Noah recently told us he wanted a cell phone, and yes, we read him the riot act. You've got to put your foot down IMMEDIATELY and FIRMLY on these matters, before it gets out of hand. Sometimes more than your foot (wooden yardsticks were made for something besides measuring).

Well, everything kinda BLOWS lately, but here's a picture of the green grass that was under the snow. I went for a nice hike the other day by the creek behind Schnappsville Park. That's the HHR (my new/ kinda new car) parked there, and in the background, yes, flying the old flag, is Johnsonville Sausage, where my one true love resides (4o hours a week, variable shifts, plus lately, 2o hours a week OT!) Hopefully, next time, I'll have something to report in the PROGRESS department.

Thank GOD for this weather!!!

I've had an amazing couple of days due to the weather. COLD, wind-chills forty below! But that's not what was amazing. School was called off at Plymouth (as well as most of the schools around the state). This almost never happens, especially since global warming (that's a joke, though I know it's not funny). Noah and Hope both still went to daycare, or whatever they call it now. Not pre-school, because it IS school-- little genius school, prodigy school. I know I should take more of an interest. Well, I am interested, and didn't want them to freeze to death. I drove them over in the HHR, which is turning to be good investment. Margaret made fun of it, but I ending up giving her a jump yesterday morning when her beloved Mustang wouldn't start (one of those new ones, you know). So, anyway, yeah, Margaret had to work at QG, regular schedule, and I was left at home alone for two glorious days!

The lucky thing was that Laura was working third shift at Johnsonville-- she doesn't always have a choice, but I guess got put on Sunday late third shift due to the Superbowl, which, of course, she had no interest in watching. I can see the plant entrance from our living room, and when the lobster shift cleared out at seven a.m. or so I called her cell phone. Margaret was already gone. Laura came over (parking at the bar lot, to be safe) and took a bath to get the sausage smell off her (not that I would have minded) while I took the kids to Mozart school. Then we had THE WHOLE DAY TOGETHER. We've been dreaming of this. We didn't sleep in Margaret and my bed, of course, I'm not a total creep. But we made love nearly every other place in the house, including in the HHR, like a couple of high schoolers, while it was in the (heated, of course) garage.

OK... I DO feel pretty guilty about it. I feel terrible. But the thing is, we are in love. I am more in love with Laura than I've been ever before in my life. I mean, I don't think I've ever been trully, completely in love before in my life. I've never felt like this. I do love Margaret, I care about her. But it was nothing like this. I don't know what to do. Laura feels bad about it, too. She lives with a guy, too. Her boyfriend, though she says it's over with him. I mean, she told me that the first time we met (more on that later). But she can't move out until she finds a new place, and figures things out with him (I guess he's kind of unstable or something). So we've got ourselves in a real mess. But it's the happiest I've ever been in my life.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! Here is the pumpkin pie that started it all, I mean the big fight. I can't talk about that now-- though that's kind of the point of this thing, inn't it?

Anyway-- had a pretty good new years, didn't do much-- spent time with my wife Margaret, and the kids Noah and Hope. I don't know if it was because of this new medication, or if it's just that I'm getting older, but I can't seem to drink as much as I used to. In contrast, Margaret, how used to pretty much not drink at all, can really put 'em away!

We made some ice cream drinks for the kids, New Year's Eve, but things got a little mixed up at some point, and I think they ended up drinking some of the alcoholic drinks. I don't know what's worse, anyway, the alcohol or the ice creams. We mady brandy alexanders, grasshoppers, pink ladies (at Margaret's insistence) and in each case made non-alcoholic versions for the kids, but I think they may have pulled the wool over our eyes. Which probably wasn't hard to to during the big fight!

Well, some good football games yesterday. Actually, none of them were, except for the Boise State game (did any see that? can you believe it? Oh! Who am I talking to here, anyway!?!) That game was on late, but I was up since I had slept most of the day, after bloody marys and new years brunch-- Margaret had a few of her friends over, from work! WHich is enough to get me really irritated.

The only bad thing is that the Johnsonville plant was on holiday shift-- and I happened to know that a certain lady had three days off (and thus took the opportunity to visit some kind of distant relatives). I'm talking about Laura, of course. I shouldn't be talking about this. But what am I going to do, talk about the weather. THis is the place-- kind of an outlet for me in these difficult times. If anyone sees this I'm totally and absolutely fucked (sorry) but no one's gonna!